


Making an Effort

by acesandapricots



Series: Kinktober 2020 [18]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Emotional Intimacy, Friends to Lovers, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Intimacy, M/M, Post-Canon, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acesandapricots/pseuds/acesandapricots
Summary: Angels are sexless (except when they make an effort), and Aziraphale has never really been interested in carnal relations. But after so nearly averting the apocalypse, he examines his love for Crowley and realizes he’s curious. (Humans do go on about it, after all.) The angel and demon have a conversation, in the bookshop, over a bottle of wine.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Kinktober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1958257
Kudos: 24





	Making an Effort

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon Aziraphale and Crowley as ace (or asexual) characters, wherever they may fit on the asexuality spectrum. This fic can be read (and, hopefully, enjoyed!) even if that isn't your particular headcanon. But a trigger warning for sex-repulsed aces (and sex-repulsed allos): these two gentlemen are about to engage in a conversation about intimacy and sex, and while nothing sexual happens "on-screen" (as it were), the act is most definitely implied.
> 
> My everlasting thanks to [whitmans_kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitmans_kiss/) for beta reading! And many, many thanks to soph for lending her ear to my warblings.
> 
> This fic was written while I was filling my other Kinktober 2020 prompts and I slotted it in as my "freeform" piece!

**_“Angels are sexless unless they want to really make an effort.”_ **

They didn’t, often. Make an effort, that is. Oh, they frequently presented as male. Not because the gender was inherently better or worse but with Adam (the original Adam, not the Antichrist) being male it just sort of made sense at the beginning. And over the last six thousand and so years, it certainly made it easier to blend into human society. And, of course, wearing the same body over the centuries had a certain comfort factor (and fewer bureaucratic headaches).

Crowley was the first one of them to actually _do_ anything with his penis. He’d grown curious in the nineteen-sixties for the first time since Shakespeare had taken a liking to the silver-tongued voyeur. He played with the idea, testing length and girth and reaction. It was… fine. He much preferred learning how to disrupt the workings of laserdiscs and sauntering around SoHo, scaring pigeons and hard-nosed policemen.

Aziraphale… well, it wasn’t important to the angel, not really. Sex wasn’t food, it wasn’t literature, it wasn’t the joy on a child’s face when he pulled a crumpled flower out of the sleeve of his jacket (even though that hadn’t happened in an exceedingly long time). He’d made a phallus, once, when he was too drunk to remember _how_ to sober up and he’d read a particularly _racy_ tome by Forster that awakened all sorts of ideas about loving where one shouldn’t. (Love was, after all, his specialty as an angel, and he _had_ hoped that humans would get over their odd prejudices. It had… mostly happened, and just in time for the apocalypse to be averted, too.) But love was not the same as sex, and the phallus was gone the next morning.

He wasn’t sure _when_ in recent years he had decided he wanted to experience this physical sensation that seemed so important to humanity. But walking into Hell wearing the body of his dearest friend had made him confident, a shared bottle of wine in the comfort of his bookshop had made him bold, and the sight of the red-haired, snake-eyed demon sprawled over the chaise across from him was making him… curious.

“I have a question for you, Crowley.” Aziraphale set his empty glass down on the edge of the desk before folding his hands together on his lap.

“Yes, Angel?” The demon’s voice was low and rumbly, his head tipped back languidly.

“It’s a rather… delicate matter.”

Crowley’s head flopped over to gaze at Aziraphale, his sunglasses glinting in the soft light.

“I was wondering… well, I was wondering if you’d ever had sex?”

Aziraphale’s blush turned his entire face pink, but he resolutely kept his eyes on Crowley. The demon shrugged.

“Of course.”

“Oh.”

“Why do you ask?”

Aziraphale swallowed. “Well, it’s just… it is called _making love_ and I wondered…”

Crowley was intently watching him now. “Spit it out, Angel,” he said gently. If possible, Aziraphale had turned even pinker.

“I was just curious what it would be like, you know, for _us_.”

Crowley’s mouth dropped open slightly. Aziraphale’s blush had crawled up to his ears. He was wringing his hands, playing with the ring on his little finger. Without a response, he kept talking.

“Well, I do love you, Crowley, you know I do, and I was simply curious about what it would feel like. One does hear things, you know, even if one is a celestial being. And, well, humans do go on about it and I did wonder if it might be like when chocolate came over to England, all this hubbub and excitement and then you try a hot mug of it and it is indescribably delicious and—"

“Angel.” Aziraphale looked up at Crowley, who had removed his sunglasses and was staring at him through wide-slitted eyes. “Have you ever…”

“Once, a long time ago, out of curiosity. It was, it was nothing special. I had to _remember_ to create all the parts and the poor chap was a bit, well, a bit put off by… well, if you must know, by a vanishing testicle.”

“Oh, Angel.”

“Don’t go feeling bad for me. I’m not… I don’t feel a _need_ for it. I’m not drawn to it, not the way humans are—”

“Not _all_ humans.”

“I know, I know, I just… I wanted to know what it would be like. Once. With you.”

They were silent, the warm glow of lamplight cocooning them together - one angel, sitting primly in his upholstered chair, and one demon, lethargically posed against brocade and warm leather.

Aziraphale, awkward as ever, broke the silence.

“What was it like?”

“What?”

“What was… it… like?”

Demons, as a rule, didn’t do _shocked_ that often. But Crowley had adopted an expression quite like it frequently during recent events, and that expression fell over his face again at this juncture.

“Sex?”

“Yes. Sex.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“I _did_ ask.”

Crowley cleared his throat and sat up – well, not exactly _straight_ , Crowley didn’t do _straight_ , but he wasn’t lounging languidly against the chaise anymore.

“I found it to be rather… transactional, if you must know.” He sniffed.

“But did it feel…” Aziraphale searched for the word. “Did it feel _good_?”

Crowley had to think back on the few experiences he’d had in his long life. “I suppose so,” he ventured. “It wasn’t unpleasant. Nothing like chocolate or leather or good wine, though. Plus it was all a bit _messy_.”

“I don’t think I’d mind that too much.”

Crowley stared at his best friend. “What brought this on?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I think you do.”

“I couldn’t possibly.”

“Angel,” Crowley admonished. “You’ve never shown _any_ interest in the more carnal pleasures. Why now?”

He waited. And waited. And waited some more. And then, Aziraphale spoke.

“So very much has happened recently. And one of the many things I’ve come to realize after recent events is that… well, _carpe diem_ , as they say. It wasn’t you and me who saved the world, not really. It was a boy, a child. A _human_ child who made the choice, with all the power of reality at his will, to give it all up. To become truly human. And you and I, we’ve been around humans long enough to have adopted many of their habits. Not just the small things, either, like pocket watches and, and houseplants. But food and pleasures and… attachments. This… sex… well, it seemed like a logical next step.”

There was a pause, and this time Crowley broke the silence.

“You know there are plenty of humans who don’t have sex, who don’t _want_ sex. It won’t make you any more human to have it.”

“I know.” Aziraphale sighed. “I do know that. And I know sex isn’t the meaning of life or the key to the Ineffable Plan. Nothing like that. It’s just… ”

“What?”

“It’s just _physical_. Can you blame me, after being discorporated, for wondering about something so very physical? Especially… especially when it’s one possible expression of love.”

Crowley was silent again. Not because he was waiting, but because he was thinking. So Aziraphale waited. And waited. And then couldn’t wait any longer.

“I’m sorry, Crowley. I don’t mean to push you. That’s the last thing I want to do. I was simply curious. That’s all. We can forget about the whole thing.”

Crowley cocked his head, yellow eyes intent. In a slithering motion he rose from his seat and knelt in front of Aziraphale, grabbing the angel’s hands in his and holding them still.

“You’re not pushing me, Angel. I’d tell you if you were.”

“I do believe I believe you.”

“Aziraphale.” The use of his name caused Aziraphale to meet Crowley’s gaze head-on. “If you want to experience it, I’d be happy to be there with you. I can’t tell you what it would be like, between us. An angel and a demon….” Crowley cleared his throat.

“I want to show you how much I love you.”

“You don’t _need_ to. I can feel it.”

“You can?”

“I imagine it’s something similar to what Tadfield felt like to you.”

“ _Oh_.”

“I don’t need sex. We demons aren’t so different from angels – in that way, at least. It’s not a given part of us. But if you genuinely want to, I’m not adverse to the idea.”

Aziraphale cocked his own head. His voice was very soft. “I’m not _expecting_ anything, Crowley. And I don’t want to demand what you can’t give. That’s never been our relationship and I don’t intend to change it now. Not in that way, at least. But I… I want to hold you. And I do want to feel you, at least once, just to see. Just to know.”

“Know what?”

Blue eyes met yellow. Red and blonde hair shone in the lamplight.

“Know what it’s like to be physically one, I suppose.” He smiled sadly. “We are such celestial creatures. Or cerebral, if you prefer. But once, just once, I’d like to know what it’s like to physically love you.”

Crowley slowly, hesitantly, lean hand nearly trembling, reached out to cup Aziraphale’s cheek.

“I have loved you for a long time, Angel.”

“Oh, Crowley.”

“Don’t look at me like that! This isn’t news to you.”

“No but… you just say it so rarely.”

“I’m a _demon_ ; it isn’t exactly easy.”

“I suppose not. I am sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“Whatever for?”

“For being a fool.”

Crowley’s thumb brushed against Aziraphale’s lips.

“You’re not a fool.”

“I’m not?”

“No.”

“Well what am I, then?”

Crowley paused. “Mine,” he said simply.

They shared a kiss that night, one full of curiosity and promise. Eventually, when the time was right according to plans both large and small, they did indeed, _make love_. And much to their mutual surprise, it didn’t take that much effort at all, not between the two of them.

**Author's Note:**

> P.S.A. - Ace people have all sorts of different relationships to the physical act of sex itself. Aces do have sex! Aces don't have sex! Aces may want to have sex but don't! Aces may never want to have sex! Aces may have/want sex only rarely! Aces may have sex as part of loving relationships! Aces may /not/ have sex as part of loving relationships! And asexuality itself is a wide spectrum. This interpretation of these characters (ace characters interested in/having sex) is one of many, and it's not even the only one I hold - it's just the one I wanted to write, this time. If you want to learn more about asexuality and the ace spectrum, I recommend AVEN - the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (asexuality.org).


End file.
